Disallusionment: a turning point

I am reflecting on the last few weeks since I posted on here. I am going to be honest and open about what God is leading me into.


In Nehemiah 1 we read Nehemiah receive the news that the city of Glory, Zion is in disgrace; poverty; the gates are burned, the walls torn down.  The temple torn down and priesthood carried off to Babylon.

The last few weeks have given me an insight into what sensation came into the heart. One of heaviness.

The Book of Jasher gives us into an insight into another heart rending episode. We are given a background to Genesis 22 where God commands Abraham to sacrifice his loving son Isaac.


What we see is Satan accusing Abraham before God and Satan incites God to test him. Abraham does not tell Sarah. We get an insight of the cherishing of that son born in old age.

So we are told that Abraham and Isaac went with Ishmael and Eliezer to the mount . We are given an insight that Ishmael knows what Abraham has been commanded to do and we see him having the thought that once Isaac is away he would be in line for the birthright.

We see them arrive at the mountain and Abraham goes alone with Isaac weeping along the way. What love for the son that represented the promise!

We then see the narrative change when Satan himself appears as an old man to tempt Abraham to disobey. When Abraham would not sway from obedience so this manifestation appears to Sarah to tell her what Abraham was about to do. She dies in that process.  Genesis bears out that after the mountain episode that Abraham along with Isaac and Ishmael bury their mother and wife.

I feel somewhat that God is asking me to see clearly the city of promise in disgrace. There is much in Christendom
which represents that city where human values and thoughts now colour the Biblical truth. We in the Western world have westernised our faith and mixed it with practices which are not ordained by scripture.


We have rejected the Hebrew roots of our faith which we need to research once again. I feel in my circumstances that my walls have been torn down and gates are burned with fire. I feel the priesthood I took for granted have all been taken to confusion and idolatry.

I know that Satan has been accusing in the heavenly realms revealing secret things to others that make their hearts fail. And ours as we see the corruption of humanity and even those who belong to so called spiritual communities.

I had a thought the other day.

We have embraced an absolute fundamentalist view of scripture that when God wants to break us out of the  box of the thinking handed down to us we are then condition to a human view of our faith which sees only a small part. We tarnish our vision of Him and in the end worship a westernised Jesus that is not the Yeshua of history and of the present!

What God is doing is taking us up the mountain to “lose” the object of our cherishing.  Our promise; our ministry; or a spiritual community we desire, to receive us and our ministry. God is leading us into a new place with Him. The only attitude in impending “loss” of all that is dear to us is obedience.


Satan has all the faith in our failure, our loss; tempting us into disobedience. As he tempted Abraham. The weeping is his humanity fighting the steadfast obedience.

Yes we may weep in these dark moments when there are no answers and where there is disallusionment.

One thing I gave learned is that disallusionment is always momentary loss to open doors of new dimensions of living.

Our doctrinal mind; our theology is always going to be challenged because God exists beyond our thinking.  Theology sometimes resumes to how we understand what we read.

And if humanity has interfered in the past bringing in abuses and aborting God’s purposes in many lives; where personal visions are rejected because their face did not fit, or they did not exercise natural influence or have wealth to make things happen.. who is to say what had been handed down is not also so tainted.

That is why the Spirit shows me that so much leadership and so much understanding of our faith is tainted by human thinking and attitude. So we need to trust Him to lead us up the pure mountain of impending loss so that when we are there weeping and yet obedient He will bring us into a new place.

In Nehemiah we see him also weeping for 7 days. We see him come into a new place and God moves him to effect the rebuilding and restoration of walls spiritual and physical.

The reason why maybe revival has not come is because in westernising and humanising our faith we have cut connection to the pureness of where and how God is present.


So may our hearing of walls and gates burned and in disarray bring us into a place of sacrificing what we think so that God sends His angel to stop us just in time so that we attain a new abode in the heavenly realms.  Abraham was then known as the father of faith from here.

May we too attain!


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